Wow, it has been a long time since I posted anything. I decided to give the BLOG thing a break and I did for over a year! What first got me started writing a blog was the opportunity it afforded me. It gave me an outlet, a place to put down into words what I thought about the Anti-Americanism festering in Europe. At first I thought it was therapeutic, and then it just got me angry. I am still angry about the obvious double standard most europeans have. If George W. Bush had attacked Libya would there not have been anti-war demonstrations and calls for a war crimes tribunal? Yet, Barack Hussein Obama gets a pass, very little is said, he is awarded a peace prize, and look what he does! Enough of that, I have lots of space to talk about politics at a later date.
Many things have changed since I first started blogging. My wife has fallen ill with a very rare form of cancer, it is incurable. I feel that we have been given extra time, normally patients with this disease only live 8-10 months, it has been two years since diagnosis. “T” is fighting hard, but I see that she is slowly losing the battle. I do worry about her all the time and I have been neglecting myself. I use to run a lot and exercise, but since she has been receiving radiosphere treatments I spend most of my time with her. Sometimes I find myself thinking about regrets, should I have done this or that, when we argued, should I have said sorry earlier? Was I a good husband and father? I expect these feelings are normal, but I am not sure I am ever going to be ready to say goodbye…..
I went to the Doctor last week for a checkup and I asked her how people throughout history cope with sickness and the early demise of a loved one? She said she had no idea how people cope, it is something I am going to have to do, she said I will make it, even when I am in my deepest despair, I will feel the loving hand of god, and I will be comforted.
I like Doctor ***, she is originally from Romania, smart, great bedside manner, and treats all of her paitients with the upmost respect. However, I wanted to know why my wife? Of all people, she has always been my best supporter, she was there when I needed her as I was for her. We had our rough patches, fortunately I was smart enough to realize that I was a better man with her than without her.
Well, as Barack Hussein Obama has said, there is always Love and Hope, or was that Hope and Change?